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BLOGGING FOR METAL FANS WITH A BACKBONE

The 100 Best Metal Albums of the Decade: #94

Posted by dasher10 on November 13, 2009

The list so far

100. Astarte – Demonized

99. Rotting Christ – Theogonia

98. Enslaved – Vertebrae

97. Arch Enemy – Wages of Sin

96. The Red Chord – Fused Together in Revolving Doors

95. Agoraphobic Nosebleed – Agorapocalypse

 

And when there are those times when you can’t title your comeback the actual name of the band for legal reasons, just call it soemthing else. The fans will know who the real band is.

 

94. Cavalera Conspiracy – Infliked (2008)

Sepultura’s First Album Since 1996!

Yes, this is a SEPULTURA album, no matter what it says on the cover.

Sepultura died when Max was fired. Fact. Sepultura’s corpse was desecrated when Igor left. Also fact. So what happens when the two original members of Sepultura decide to form a new band together? A new Sepultura album, of course. Even of they can’t call it that for legal reasons, this is for all intents and purposes the real Sepultura.

Sounding like a mix between Arise and Chaos AD, Inflikted is the album that Sepultura fans have been waiting for since Roots. There are so many people who’ve been waiting for this album for a long time and for twelve long years it seemed like a pipedream. Forget the new “Sepultura.” Forget Soulfly. This is the true successor to the band who wrote Beneath the Remains.

 

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The 100 Best Metal Albums of the Decade: #95

Posted by dasher10 on November 13, 2009

The list so far

100. Astarte – Demonized

99. Rotting Christ – Theogonia

98. Enslaved – Vertebrae

97. Arch Enemy – Wages of Sin

96. The Red Chord – Fused Together in Revolving Doors

And now I present to you… #95, the album that symbolized that maturity of one of the most immature (yet entertaining) groups of all time.

95. Agoraphobic Nosebleed – Agorapocalypse (2009)

They Finally Wrote Real Songs?????

Oh god. The walls are melting. I can see Abe Lincoln.

For a band like Agoraphobic Nosebleed who’ve based their entire reputation solely on ten second microsongs to be making real music was a very bold move. I’ll admit that I was at first incredibly skeptical but this album grew on me like a nasty case of chancroid that I contracted from a Thai hooker.*

By real music, I don’t mean that Agoraphobic Nosebleed has come anywhere near close to Kenny G accessibility. This is still far too fast, brutal, loud and well… offensive for most people to handle. It’s just a bit more fleshed out than previous works. And this more mature (keyword more, this band will never be mature) Agoraphobic Nosebleed is not only good but necessary. This band could never top Altered States of America. So they didn’t try. They (kind of) grew up.

Keep in mind that this is still by no means a mature album. The lyrics are still funny as shit in an, “I can’t ever repeat what I just heard” kind of way, there’s a drum machine drum solo in a song called Question of Integrity, and the entire album is filled to the brim with a celebration of all that is juvenile. Not that this is in any way a bad thing since there are only so many serious bands that I can tolerate in a row before I need some cheesy fun like Agoraphobic Nosebleed. And Katherine Katz is the shit both on record and in person.

(There was no video for this album. In honor of Katherine Katz, here’s Ninja Cat)

* I don’t actually have chancroid. Thai hookers are awesome.

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The 100 Best Metal Albums of the Decade: #96

Posted by dasher10 on November 11, 2009

Yeah, it influenced a lot of horrible bands, but this album (or band for that matter) are fucking great. You can hate the genre that they created, but there are so many good things about this band that they deserve your attention.

The list so far

100. Astarte – Demonized

99. Rotting Christ – Theogonia

98. Enslaved – Vertebrae

97. Arch Enemy – Wages of Sin

96. The Red Chord – Fused Together in Revolving Doors (2002)

This Album is Responsible for Everything That You Hate

Hey guys, we now have the fingerprint of Gunface! Let's stalk him!

Deathcore. How did it go so wrong when it started off so good when The Red Chord Recorded this? Back in 2002 this sounded so fresh and it didn’t seem like the pig squeal-drenched bullshit that we call deathcore today. Regardless of what bands like Suicide Silence and Whitechapel have done, The Red Chord never stooped to such crap and have always maintained their integrity. There was never any need for this band to redeem themselves – unlike most of their peers – for even their earliest material was astounding.

One thing that’s important to remember is that Rage Against the machine and Faith No More were responsible for nu metal so blaming the progenitor for its mutant offspring is a logical fallacy at best. Nobody could have predicted that an album as filled with awesome as Fused Together in Revolving Doors would have ever led to the complete poserdom that contemporary deathcore embodies.

And yet it still stands the test of time. Fused Together in Revolving Doors is one hell of a technical, brutal masterpiece. May its legacy not be tarnished by pretenders to the throne.

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Another Blog?!

Posted by CM on November 11, 2009

Just wanted to let everyone know I have started another blog to run simultaneously with SpineLanguage entitled “Chug This Grape Soda Then Die”.  It will be basically the same thing I do here, only much more condensed and only having to do with modern metal.  Hope you hate it!

chug.this.grape.soda//then.die

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You Must Be At Least 40″ Tall to Worship the Dark Lord

Posted by CM on November 11, 2009

The Dark Lord Himself (via hennessy.id.au)

Story time.

I was raised in a Presbyterian church.  Every Sunday, my mom drove me and grandma downtown to a building marked by very elaborate architecture and eye-catching intricacies that for some reason flipped on the “oh crap, Jesus is looking, I better be on my best behavior” switch in my head almost immediately.  I would sit politely for an hour and a half listening to some dude in a robe blabber on about scriptures I would never remember, let alone understand.  Somewhere in the middle my family found time to dump their hard-earned cash on a silver platter, but when the last hymn was sung, the large wooden doors behind me were flung open with such force that the warm afternoon air made me forget all about what I could have gotten with that money.

That is, until the last time we went to church.

My family fell on hard times when I was 11.  For a few Sundays in a row, when that silver platter of holy welfare came hovering by again, we passed it along to the next person without adding to the cash pile.  Grandma always felt bad about it, as if the Lord was some homeless guy sitting outside the liquor store waiting for just one more dollar to buy a Colt 45.  One day, we got a letter from the church; essentially, it was an eviction notice.  We were no longer invited.  Why?  Because we didn’t give enough “tithes”.  This confused the fuck out of me.  I looked up the word “tithe” in the dictionary and saw that it meant one-tenth of something, so I asked mom: “can’t we just give them a couple dimes instead of a couple dollars and call it even?”  She said it wasn’t funny, but I wasn’t joking.  Then I remembered that I hated church, so I stopped trying.  We never went back, and we never found a new one to go to.  I could sleep in on Sundays for once, the only day of the week that guy in the robe ever called the “day of rest”, and all I could think was, “it’s about time”.  Since then, I haven’t been a part of any organized religion.  It works for me.  End of story.

Now why did I tell you all of that?  I’m not entirely sure.  But Jesus is a bit off topic for a metal blog.  Let’s talk about Satan.

King of Adventure, huh? Doesn't sound so bad. (via philsp.com)

He’s a big red dude who loves hanging upside down in hotter-than-tropical climates, of that much we can be sure.  We also know that he needs more souls, because let’s be honest – by all accounts, God just makes it too damn easy for the dead to get into heaven.  This tug of war keeps each camp’s respective world religions, Christianity and Satanism, recruiting new blood 24/7, 365.  Both of these belief systems, aside from being hilarious, have helped establish a context within which all human acts “good” or “evil” occur.  Although I would argue there are more than a few good Satanists and more than a few evil Christians out there, this is the dichotomy to which we in the Western world are accustomed.

Where the fuck am I going with this?  Okay, well metal has always been cast as Satanic since the dawn of ti- uh, the early 80’s, and rock and roll was given the same label during its inception (Elvis was more evil than Cronos).  Kids listen to these genres because they represent rebellion and individuality, things they probably can’t have too much of as long as they live under their guardian’s roof.  Dumbass teenagers use their favorite bands or genres to shout at their parents without really shouting, crying for attention through a pair of bondage pants as opposed to traditional tears.

As we all know, any kid who grows to like metal comes across this question: am I a Satanist?  We’ve all been there, and we’ve all answered it for ourselves in one way or another.  I know the way I answered it was by realizing that a religion is a religion regardless of whom the diety is, and since I was already jaded from my own religious experience, I found Satanism mutually retarded to Christianity.  It’s not the same for everyone.  Some look for answers within and others look elsewhere.  One resource I happened to find out of recent curiosity was the Youth Communique on the Church of Satan website.

Sigil of Baphomet (via churchofsatan.com)

Am I the only one who finds it hilarious that such a page exists for children wishing to become Satanists?  Believe me, I know there’s a niche for everyone on the Internet, but you’ve got to wonder what kind of frequent Hot Topic shoppers visit this website looking for answers as to how many wallet chains of ludicrous length, band patches on their Jansport bookbags, or multi-colored wristbands must be worn to please the Devil; the number has to be in the thousands.  Fortunately, this page answers their most predictable questions pretty well:

  • If you have read our books, you know that Satanism isn’t about taking drugs, and it isn’t about harming animals or children. Unlike many religions and philosophies, Satanism respects and exalts life. Children and animals are the purest expressions of that life force, and as such are held sacred and precious in the eyes of the Satanist. Besides, it is very un-Satanic to take any creature’s life against its will. It is equally un-Satanic to cloud your brain and impair your judgment with mind-altering substances. A real magician has no need of those kinds of things, as he should be able to bring about changes in consciousness by the very power of his Will and imagination.  If you have not yet read The Satanic Bible, you should do so. It has much more information regarding our attitude toward Satan, and will give you a clearer idea of our philosophy, ideals, and goals. Perhaps at first they will be difficult for you to understand, because you may have been raised in an environment that dictates that God=Good and Satan=Evil. The truth is that good and evil are often terms that people twist to suit their own purposes. Sometimes people will lie and try to make you think certain things just so you will do what they want you to do. Always remember that the final judgment is yours. That is both a great freedom and a great responsibility. For us, Satan is a symbol of the power of that choice.  There is no one way that a Satanist is “supposed” to be. Uniqueness and creativity are encouraged here, not mindless conformity. It doesn’t matter what kind of music you like to listen to; it doesn’t make any difference whether you prefer gothic music, black metal music, classical music, old popular tunes, show tunes, or many different types of music. It doesn’t matter what style of clothes you like to wear. You don’t have to wear black, or t-shirts with “Heavy Metal” band logos, or trench coats. There is not an “official” Satanic music and style of dress, and you should beware of people who claim otherwise. What does matter is that you are a mature, sensitive, self-aware individualist who revels in the Darkness, and who wishes to align yourself with others who share your views. In this world of prefabricated, media-saturated, unoriginal drones, it is up to the Satanist to cherish, maintain, and preserve true individuality and creativity. Satan represents freedom from hypocrisy, from convenient lies, and challenges that which is presumed to be true. His image of pride, strength, and defiance, inspires us to our own strengths.

I think everyone who believes all metal fans are Satanists should read that part.  Hell (ha), everyone with a brain cell should read it.  That list bit about the “world of prefabricated, media-saturated, unoriginal drones” is great.  But there is one part about it that gives me a chuckle: being a “real magician”.  Perhaps it is strictly metaphorical, but every bit of credibility that Satanism could gain from providing intelligent observations on the modern world is reduced to dust when they start talking about wizardry.  It’s like O.T. VIII’s in the Church of Scientology who believe they have psychic abilities, only not as literal; it’s just bad public relations.

Satanists, according to this page, talk about confidence and intuition as if they are supernatural (i.e. magical) abilities that come with worshiping the darkness.  Why not just say “be confident” as opposed to “practice lesser magic”?  They make it sound like you don’t have enough experience points yet to do the real shit, like you’ve got to go sit in a forest for 10 fucking hours and kill wood elves until you level up.  It doesn’t sound like reality.  Then there’s all this stuff about how Satan represents love and kindness and blah blah blah, but they still use words like “dark”, “diabolical”, “daemonic”, and etc. to describe their belief system.  It just sounds like a joke, I can’t help but think of Heavy Metal Happy Hour when I read it.

One of the more laughable sections is the “how to” guide to ritualizing:

  • You don’t need everything mentioned in Dr. LaVey’s books to do an effective ritual. Maybe you don’t have the money to obtain—or the private space to store—items such as swords, chalices, black robes, gongs, and elaborate altars. Ritual is theatre meant to stimulate your emotions, so you may vary the details to suit your personal needs and situation. Sometimes the most effective ritual chamber is found in your own imagination, with your eyes closed and your Will focused—the theatre of the mind.  Here, because many have requested it, is a powerful, yet simple, ritual you can perform and all you need is a quiet place where you can be alone, a Sigil of Baphomet, either as a medallion or as a picture, and a single black candle. Be sure the candle is placed in a safe holder so that there is no danger of fire.  Light the candle and set it before you. Place the medallion or picture of the Sigil of Baphomet so that it is visible just above and safely beyond the flame of the candle. Sit up straight, breathe deeply and relax. Clear your mind of all outside thoughts. As you gaze at the flame, say in your mind or out loud, “I am ready, oh Dark Lord. I feel your strength within me and wish to honor you in my life. I am one of the Devil’s Own. Hail Satan!” Open your mind; look within. You may shift your gaze from the flickering flame into the eyes of the goat in the Sigil, and sense your essential self reflected in it. When you feel you’ve reached that primal part of yourself, and that the words you spoke ring with truth, speak the words “So it is done,” with intensity and conviction. Breathe deeply again. As you exhale, blow out the candle. You may then place the medallion on a necklace and wear it openly or hidden, or if you used a picture, store it in a private place until the next time you choose to perform this ritual.  It will take time. You may think you are ready, but you may still find you cannot let go right away. Concentrate on your image of Satan and on the word “strength” and listen to what comes up from yourself. You have answers for yourself that no one else can give you. This is a simple way of aligning yourself with what Satan means to us, discovering that in yourself, and it will help you in finding the stamina and courage to guide yourself to greater achievements. The path you’ve chosen won’t be easy; sometimes it may be a nightmare. But when you are ready to face the challenge, it will be there.

As a matter of fact, I have plenty of room with which to store my swords, chalices, black robes, gongs, and elaborate altars, but I try to use my storage space for more economical means than accomplishing a fucking prayer.  What in the Hell do you need all of that for, and why does the Dark Lord make you spend so much damn money?  All Jesus ever asked was that you pray by your bedside at night and go to a “free” (aside from those pesky tithes) church service once a week.  Christians don’t need a fucking Sigil of Noah to help reassure themselves that their life will be okay.

I’m sorry, maybe you’re a Satanist and you think this is great stuff.  More power to you.  I just think if you’re gonna be an individual, it starts with not being part of a group, which is exactly what both the Church of Satan and the Church of God are.  A few last words:

  • Just because you are not yet legally an adult doesn’t mean that you cannot explore on your own these Dark Realms that are opening before you. This is a very potent, magical time. You decided to write to us or read our web site for a reason, and right now you are going through an initiation into the Black Arts that must be all your own. Your body and your mind are going through intense changes. Take this time to learn all you can—about yourself and about the world around you. Explore your skills, talents, and inventiveness. Learn to play music, paint, or even build a robot. Study the subjects that can bring you wisdom about the human animal and the world around you: psychology, history, anthropology, sociology, the arts, literature, and the hard sciences. Use your brain and your heart to find out what is right, what is true, and what will make you stronger. You are not alone. You are different; you are superior, and it’s okay for you to feel that way. You see what others do not; you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men.

“Dark Realms”, ha!  “A very potent, magical time”, HA!  “Build a robot”, HAHA!  This isn’t the Church of Satan – it’s more like the Church of this guy.

D&D, MOTHERFUCKER (via Blogspot)

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The 100 Best Metal Albums of the Decade: #97

Posted by dasher10 on November 11, 2009

Some bands have a weak link that keeps them from realizing their full potential and all that it takes is the removal of that cancer for people to see how good they truly are. And that brings us to #97

The list so far

100. Astarte – Demonized

99. Rotting Christ – Theogonia

98. Enslaved – Vertebrae

97. Arch Enemy – Wages of Sin (2001)

They Finally Ditched that Assclown?

Can You Find Waldo in This Picture?

Wages of Sin introduced the world to two separate people. Angela Gossow and Angela Gossow’s ego. (Apologies to Angela, she does seem like a genuinely cool person but she is a complete egomaiac.) With this new frontwoman, Arch Enemy would proceed to reach levels only dreamed about by the band back during the days when the mediocre (at best) Johan Liiva fronted them. (Don’t try to defend him, Johan Liiva sucked ass and was the absolute worst vocalist that I’ve ever heard in my life.) Angela was more than just a pretty face, she had technique, style and stage presence, three things that Arch Enemy needed to conquer the death metal world.

Now that a competent vocalist was fronting the band, the rest of the band finally got the attention that they deserved, giving Michael Amott the attention and credibility that he didn’t have since his Carcass days. And this says nothing about his brother’s less emotional yet more technical solos that provide a great contrast similar to Jeff Hanneman and Kerry King of Slayer.

Wages of Sin was a breakthrough album that caught people’s attention through a gimmick and then held them by the quality of the actual songs in addition to Angela Gossow proving that she was more than just being the aforementioned gimmick. To this day, there are few bands in the metal genre that can capture the magic of a live Arch Enemy gig, taking their live show to the level of genre favorites Iron Maiden and Mayhem. It takes a lot to replicate an album’s sound live, but only a select few can improve upon their material in a live setting which is exactly what Angela allowed this band to do.

While Arch Enemy still had yet to reach their peak, Wages of Sin provided the first step in their path towards world domination with classic tracks like Dead Bury their Dead and Enemy Within. And one of the tracks also has an adult website named after it, automatically upping Wages of Sin’s cool factor.

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The 100 Best Metal Albums of the Decade: #98

Posted by dasher10 on November 11, 2009

Some bands find a formula and stick with it, others never stop evolving and continue to push into new territory with each release. It’s important to recognize and appreciate the bands that manage to follow the latter path without ever sacrificing quality, which brings us to #98

The list so far

100. Astarte – Demonized

99. Rotting Christ – Theogonia

98. Enslaved – Vertebrae (2008)

Inheritance of Frost

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE, it's both phallic and vaginal! I'm MATURE!

Ever since Eld, Enslaved have been moving towards the sound that they’d finally reach on Vertebrae. It may be as soft as black metal is allowed to get but that doesn’t mean that its by any means bad. In fact, it’s this very softness that allows for a nuance and complexity that most black metal lacks and that is where Enslaved have carved their own niche. They’ve found purpose in doing things their own way and not abiding by any rules.

Serious tr00 black metal fans will certainly hate this but this was never intended for them nor it it intended for a mainstream audience either. It’s apparent that Enslaved make music for themselves and nobody else. You can either appreciate them or not, they most certainly do not care about your opinion.

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The 100 Best Metal Albums of the Decade: #99

Posted by dasher10 on November 10, 2009

Since I’m going to be busy in the morning and I’m getting the first three out of the way today, It’s now time for #99 as well. This album was the band’s best since 1997 and they should be familiar to any fan of black metal.

The List so far

#100 Astarte – Demonized

99. Rotting Christ – Theogonia (2007)

No Pepsi Coke

Yes, that is an oni symbol. Rotting Christ aren't Japanese, they're just weaboos.

After two tr00 black metal releases Rotting Christ returned to their roots as the legendary melodic black metal band that they were for their first four albums. Every Fan of Rotting Christ is a fan because of their unique melodic form of black metal and it was a nice surprise to see Theogonia return to that style without sounding like the disappointing Sleep of the Angels or Kronos.

And yet they don’t sound dated simply because their old sound was seldom copied by other bands within the black metal scene, allowing Theogonia to still sound fresh to a new fan of the band. Even though Thy Mighty Contract was released back in 1993, it’s hard to call Rotting Christ’s style of black metal dated simply due to the fact that they sound like themselves and nobody else.

Even though it was released on the smaller Season of Mist as compared to the larger Century Media, Theogonia apparently had a big budget. Either that, or they were able to make an album sound as good as this does and add in sever different types of sound and vocal effects on a shoestring budget. This sounds like sarcasm but these are musicians that we’re talking about here. They’re always one step away from being bums. But its good to hear a black metal album that doesn’t sound like it was recorded through a webcam or with old 50s recoding equipment. Theogonia just sounds great on multiple levels which is what gives it its appeal.

For a band that many said had already seen its glory days long ago to release such a great return to form was an incredible feat and Theogonia deserves its place in Rotting Christ’s catalog right next to their first four albums.

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The 100 Best Metal Albums of the Decade: #100

Posted by dasher10 on November 10, 2009

As the first decade of the new millennium comes to a close, Spinelanguage has a special surprise for all of you. Starting today through December 31st, we’re counting down the top 100 albums for your enjoyment. Feel free to bitch below.
Oh, and here’s #100

100. Astarte – Demonized (2007)

Cheeseburger Cheeseburger

1. How did Tristessa get the claw? 2. How can I get it?

It’s hard to call any album “The worst of the best” but something must always take that bottom spot. Granted that there were about twice as many albums that I was considering, which means that there are still 100 metal albums worse than Demonized that were released in the past decade that I still love to death.

Beginning this list to end all lists is a great Greek black metal band who have never gotten the attention that they deserve despite making some great music since 1997. It was their 2007 album that had Astarte truly find their own sound. Sirens may have had some great guest stars, (including Shagrath and Sakis Tolis) but Demonized even ups that by including guest spots by Attila Csihar, Angela Gossow and Henri Sattler. Of course, this would be nothing without the quality music to back it up. And Demomized manages to integrate some great influences from other genres of metal into its own blackened sound.

Tristessa has truly evolved as a guitarist, with her guitar playing being as diverse as it is impressive. Meanwhile her songwriting keeps this album diverse and interesting from beginning to end. Most black metal bands either lack the creativity or courage to throw out genre conventions and make actual art but Astarte do just that. Demonized paves the way for future black metal bands (or at least those comfortable enough with their masculinity to derive their sound from a band who’s lineup includes three women) that we’ll see in the next decade. Expect this band’s name to be dropped far more often in the coming decade when new bands talk about influences.

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It’s Finally Here…

Posted by CM on November 9, 2009

No time for bullshit pictures.  Just download this fucking awesome free compilation of metal from all around the world and shove it up your ass.  I put a lot of work into it, and I promise – if you like real metal, you will love this comp.

http://www.mediafire.com/?wy21mdonyym

Leave your comments below!

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